Review: The Wonderful World of Scary Ass Shit 2

Your parents are lying bags of dicks. Everything in the woods: wolves, bears, and squirrels, aren’t just trying to eat you. It would be nice if they were, but there are other sphincter tightening horrors living in the woods that just want to be inside you: your body, that is.

The Aurora Wasteland exists, let’s get that out of the way right now. What matters more is that it’s larger and more prominent than anyone could have known. Spread across counties, countries, and notches…or whatever you want to call them. It’s everywhere, even in the most invasive places your grandmother would never tell you about. The strange and weird is like sand in your underpants.

Something is causing hikers to vanish on Mount Tekarra, which just so happens to be situated in the heart of the Brightness Falls National Park, maybe you’ve heard of it? It’s ok if you haven’t, it’s not really a come visit and expect to leave still living type of place.

Logan, Gabe, Monahan, and Jeff, having survived the cornfield maze creature, aren’t really talking about what happened to them. Mostly because they simply don’t understand it all. Since the merge, things have only gotten more confusing and weird. None of them are living the lives they remember, except they are…make sense? Because it really doesn’t to them.

Memories of their two lives continue to blend as each of them struggles to figure out who they are, what they are, and who they are…wait, did I say that already? Doesn’t matter, because the Aurora Wasteland isn’t giving them time to take things slow. Monahan’s co-worker Simone just so happens to be one of those missing hikers. You know, the ones from a few paragraphs up? With her newfound connection and lady boner for the Aurora Wasteland, Monahan sets out to find her co-worker while dragging her reluctant, apparent friends behind her.

As the book tethered makes its way through the group, a second book by the so-called discoverer of The Aurora Wasteland emerges. One that has been around for years, and has molded the lives of the team more than they know.

It’s ok to be confused and scared, but I should warn you that if you’re listening to this, then it’s already too late. The Aurora Wasteland has you. It knows you. There is no escape. Trust me, it’s better you just figure out what’s going on, for your own sake and sanity.

Review: The Wonderful World of Scary Ass Shit

Your parents are lying bags of dicks, everything you ever had a nightmare about is real, and probably was hiding under your bed.

Parallel dimensions exist, let’s get that out of the way right now. What matters more is that something is causing them to merge. A process, to put it bluntly, that can only be described as slamming one’s tit in the proverbial plane of existence’s door… or simply put, maximum unpleasantness in all the wrong places.
Monsters, creatures, anything really that can trigger that burning fear sensation that makes you wish you were already dead, they are real. Like real-real, like really-really real. Trust me, but also no one… see what I did there? The Aurora Wasteland seems to be the epicenter of it all. A focal point for the strange and weird. It’s an area that lives beyond man-made borders. A place made up of people you wouldn’t want to meet. People you wouldn’t want to be, because escaping from the nightmare that is the Aurora Wasteland, well, that’s just not possible.

Logan, Gabe, Monahan, and Jeff are and have been best friends since childhood, only they’ve never met, except they have and know everything and nothing about each other. Perfect stranger and the tightest of friends. Makes sense? Because it shouldn’t, it doesn’t to them.

Not that any of that matters, because as their dimension merges with another, they seem to be the only ones that remember anything about it… the old dimension that is. Even then, only their memories remain, while their lives have been swapped out like a saggy bag of gold. Merged with the them from the new dimension. It’s ok to be confused, none of it makes sense to them either, even if it should.

Then there is Patty, the fifth friend they didn’t even know they had, except they did. Patty knew it was coming and tried to stop it, The Merge that is. Only he failed and died graphically for it. Dragging the knowledge he had about everything to his grave. Now the four friends have to figure out how to try to pry themselves out of this dimension and to get home if it’s even possible. All while navigating their new lives, relationships, and the strange and weird known as The Aurora Wasteland, that just keeps pulling them in deeper.

Lost and with little to go on, a book by the title of TETHERED is found to be left specifically for them. A book written by the so-called discoverer of The Aurora Wasteland. A book whose contents may seemingly be more important to them than they know.

It’s ok to be confused and scared, but I should warn you, if you’re reading this, then it’s already too late. The Aurora Wasteland has you. It knows you. There is no escape. Trust me, because well… it’s better you just figure out what’s going on, for your own sake and sanity. Read, watch, listen, do that you have to do, consume it all. Because you’ll need it.

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