Review: The Bitten

• Title:
  • The Bitten
• Author:
  • L.A. Banks
• Release:
  • February 1, 2005
• Format:
  • eBook
• Series:
  • Vampire Huntress Legend Series #4

The Bitten has been my favorite book ever, for over a decade now. I first read it some time between May 2010, when I first started reading the series, and October 2011, when I finished reading book 10. It’s always the shinning, golden child I tell people about when I’m trying to get them to try this series, and they’re whining about having to read 12 books.

The fuckin’ book starts off with one of Carlos and Damali’s month-long sex breaks, Damali with Fangs, and Guardian Team “Ugh, fuck this Carlos guy…” drama. But it also has a kidnapping mystery, 4 more master vampires, master vampires participating in the “Master’s Hunt” (blood sport hunting Were-Roo’s, Yonnie makes another small appearance, 6-eyed demonic pit bulls with wings, another goddamned concert, and a “Vampire Pleasure Vessel” (A big ass yacht full of vampires.). Cum the fuck on, that’s fucking awesome!

With 3 concerts in 4 books, and the guardians shitting on Carlos, it does get a little tired, and it starts to feel like there’s some sort of secret checklist. Though at least this time they have a reason to shit on Carlos, as Damali came home with fangs, which wasn’t supposed to happen. Then again, they also told him that wasn’t supposed to be possible.

Though there is one instance of the guardian’s shitting on Carlos that genuinely pisses me off. Carlos and Damali go into a meeting with the other master vampires to figure out which one has the “living blood of Christ”. When they get back to the team, they imemadiately jump down Carlos and Damali’s throats for “not having a plan”, without even giving them a chance to talk. They belittle Carlos for not being able to find the Living Key, and then tell him he couldn’t track it anyway, because he’s a vampire and it’s hidden from him. Alright, you fucking jackasses, then why the fuck are you chastising him for not knowing where it is?!? Again, much like The Hunted, it makes The Covenant and The Guardians cum off like a bunch of insufferable cunts. Goddamn, that’s so fucking annoying, I wish I could line them all up and deliver a bitch-slap to each and every one of them.

Unfortunately, what makes The Bitten so good, is also what makes it feel like missed potential. Leslie Banks stated in an interview that she originally wrote a “Tome”, split it into 2 books, and then wrote a third, intending to make it a trilogy. It was so popular, she wrote a fourth book and threw “everything and the kitchen sink in there”, or something of that nature. Obviously, the Carlos and Damali we know from the first 3 books aren’t going to let 4 Master Vampires and their “wives” escape with their undead lives. Damn near every vampire in the empire dies in this novel, including Carlos. But it also feels like they could have played a bigger part in future novels; Damali going to different continents to do a concert as her career balloons, and using it as a cover for why she’s really there, to destroy master vampires.

The Bitten was written to be a grand finale, and the fact that it’s only 4/12 books in is what makes it the best one. The others are great, and I love them all dearly, but it’s really damn hard to top a 5-way master vampire death battle, Damali with fangs, and a vampire pleasure yacht. Carlos drugging the other master vampires, and watching them act like horny teenagers is fuckin’ hilarious, but it’s written in a way (through the perspective of Carlos) that you can feel the tension in the air.

Even though I’ve read this book a good 5 or 6+ times (I honestly never kept track.), I still get a shiver down my spine when Carlos realizes his game is up, and sends Damali and her team away to safety. It’s not just the vampire civil war: round 2, it’s the finality of Carlos staring down an eternity in the Sea of Perpetual Agony, and knowing there’s no more game to play. Even though I know exactly what’s going to happen, the ending scenes make me tear up every time, ’cause of how well written these initial batch of characters are…. everybody but J.L. that is. He’s a man of few words, and it leaves him feeling like a background character.

I always try to ease people into this series, by telling them The Bitten is a “stopping point”; but I always hope they’ll want to keep reading, once they experience it, ’cause the series keeps fuckin’ going. Once you’re in this far, this series has you hooked and all that’s left to do is admit it. ahahahahah