Aurora Wasteland Literary Unive – Baskerville Book Reviews

Review: The Wonderful World of Scary Ass Shit 2

Your parents are lying bags of dicks. Everything in the woods: wolves, bears, and squirrels, aren’t just trying to eat you. It would be nice if they were, but there are other sphincter tightening horrors living in the woods that just want to be inside you: your body, that is.

The Aurora Wasteland exists, let’s get that out of the way right now. What matters more is that it’s larger and more prominent than anyone could have known. Spread across counties, countries, and notches…or whatever you want to call them. It’s everywhere, even in the most invasive places your grandmother would never tell you about. The strange and weird is like sand in your underpants.

Something is causing hikers to vanish on Mount Tekarra, which just so happens to be situated in the heart of the Brightness Falls National Park, maybe you’ve heard of it? It’s ok if you haven’t, it’s not really a come visit and expect to leave still living type of place.

Logan, Gabe, Monahan, and Jeff, having survived the cornfield maze creature, aren’t really talking about what happened to them. Mostly because they simply don’t understand it all. Since the merge, things have only gotten more confusing and weird. None of them are living the lives they remember, except they are…make sense? Because it really doesn’t to them.

Memories of their two lives continue to blend as each of them struggles to figure out who they are, what they are, and who they are…wait, did I say that already? Doesn’t matter, because the Aurora Wasteland isn’t giving them time to take things slow. Monahan’s co-worker Simone just so happens to be one of those missing hikers. You know, the ones from a few paragraphs up? With her newfound connection and lady boner for the Aurora Wasteland, Monahan sets out to find her co-worker while dragging her reluctant, apparent friends behind her.

As the book tethered makes its way through the group, a second book by the so-called discoverer of The Aurora Wasteland emerges. One that has been around for years, and has molded the lives of the team more than they know.

It’s ok to be confused and scared, but I should warn you that if you’re listening to this, then it’s already too late. The Aurora Wasteland has you. It knows you. There is no escape. Trust me, it’s better you just figure out what’s going on, for your own sake and sanity.

Review: The Wonderful World of Scary Ass Shit

Your parents are lying bags of dicks, everything you ever had a nightmare about is real, and probably was hiding under your bed.

Parallel dimensions exist, let’s get that out of the way right now. What matters more is that something is causing them to merge. A process, to put it bluntly, that can only be described as slamming one’s tit in the proverbial plane of existence’s door… or simply put, maximum unpleasantness in all the wrong places.
Monsters, creatures, anything really that can trigger that burning fear sensation that makes you wish you were already dead, they are real. Like real-real, like really-really real. Trust me, but also no one… see what I did there? The Aurora Wasteland seems to be the epicenter of it all. A focal point for the strange and weird. It’s an area that lives beyond man-made borders. A place made up of people you wouldn’t want to meet. People you wouldn’t want to be, because escaping from the nightmare that is the Aurora Wasteland, well, that’s just not possible.

Logan, Gabe, Monahan, and Jeff are and have been best friends since childhood, only they’ve never met, except they have and know everything and nothing about each other. Perfect stranger and the tightest of friends. Makes sense? Because it shouldn’t, it doesn’t to them.

Not that any of that matters, because as their dimension merges with another, they seem to be the only ones that remember anything about it… the old dimension that is. Even then, only their memories remain, while their lives have been swapped out like a saggy bag of gold. Merged with the them from the new dimension. It’s ok to be confused, none of it makes sense to them either, even if it should.

Then there is Patty, the fifth friend they didn’t even know they had, except they did. Patty knew it was coming and tried to stop it, The Merge that is. Only he failed and died graphically for it. Dragging the knowledge he had about everything to his grave. Now the four friends have to figure out how to try to pry themselves out of this dimension and to get home if it’s even possible. All while navigating their new lives, relationships, and the strange and weird known as The Aurora Wasteland, that just keeps pulling them in deeper.

Lost and with little to go on, a book by the title of TETHERED is found to be left specifically for them. A book written by the so-called discoverer of The Aurora Wasteland. A book whose contents may seemingly be more important to them than they know.

It’s ok to be confused and scared, but I should warn you, if you’re reading this, then it’s already too late. The Aurora Wasteland has you. It knows you. There is no escape. Trust me, because well… it’s better you just figure out what’s going on, for your own sake and sanity. Read, watch, listen, do that you have to do, consume it all. Because you’ll need it.

Review: Entanglement

Click play on the playlist, and check your dimension tables.

Track One: In the construction site behind the building where data analyst Vanessa works, a door frame was discovered buried a few feet below the ground.

Track Two: After a catastrophic job interview for an entry-level position, Noah stumbles out of the bathroom pantsless and into Vanessa.

Track Three: An unknown dormant connection is re-shared.

Error in track order.

Track Number Unknown: Neither of their lives are what they believed them to be.

Track Number Error: In an attempt to understand themselves, a night of drinking leads to the two of them stumbling through the door frame behind Vanessa’s work. The next day Noah is Vanessa’s boss, and the world as they know it isn’t the same.

Error in dimension table….

Review: Santa of the Dead

Santa fighting zombies… I mean, do I really need to write more? Fine…then hold on to the nearest hard reindeer cock, things are about to get red jolly suit tinselly weird.

On a routine Christmas eve, after a fight with the new Mrs. Claus, who I’m obligated to point out has a great rack…boobs I mean, not reindeer, Santa finds himself drunk, cranky, and living in his past…did I mention he’s cranky? And, grumpy as shit, and preloaded will the latest Christmas profanities.

After a poor start to his only real day working all year, Santa against his analytic department’s best-laid plans, overrides the sleigh’s autopilot and makes a pit stop at the only house whose cookies he’s ever loved. A poor landing and ironman-like entrance into the house later, Santa stumbles into something he had no desire to be part of – at least that he knows of. See, Santa isn’t who you think he is…not that he really knows either. Did I mention the thing he stumbles drunkenly into was zombies? Because it is. Zombies on Christmas eve…Santa Claus fighting f—–g zombies.

This surprisingly emotional and frightening vulgar novella will be on the top of every zombie and Christmas-loving listeners’ list. Snuggled deep in the Aurora Wasteland, Vaughn Ashby’s literary universe, this is a stand-alone novella that fits into the larger narrative.

Review: The Axe

Time doesn’t work the way you think it does.

The year 2018: After a successful social-justice hack and a sexy night of celebrating, Micah arrives home to a gift left outside his apartment door. An axe that when touched causes Micah to lose time and allow other people to use his body. After one such event, Micah returns to his body, covered in blood and holding the axe, with police knocking on the door. Micah has to use his hacker skills to evade the police and a corporation hellbent on controlling the axe, all while unraveling the secrets of the gift.

The year 1810: In the woods of Western Canada, something is stalking and devouring people. Entire settlements have been abandoned, the residents missing. The people refer to the monsters as demons. Mehall, a demon-hunting nomad, has returned home, leaving a trail of dead demons behind her. By her hands and her tomahawk, she continues killing the creatures even as she begins having visions from the future.

The year 3015: The Circle, an oppressive governing religion, is trying to insight an AI genocide while also releasing a plague on the universe to control its people. Life is as normal as it can be for Miko, a social outcast and data broker. While on a routine data delivery gone bad, Miko is chased to the galaxies edge, where she is confronted by a mysterious ship that leads Miko on a mission to stop the Circle itself.

All three lives are more interconnected than they know. One thing wants them all dead: the Infection.

One thing binds them all together: the axe.

Review: Brightness Falls

Brightness Falls isn’t just the name of the TV show that womanizing man-child Andrew Ware has been painstakingly creating for the last couple years, it’s also his hometown. A town that he loves as much as he hates.

By request of no one, Andrew returns home to help his sister separate from her husband, only to become sidetracked by a beautiful woman. A few drinks and few compliments later the woman is dead, killed in a tragic oral sex accident. In which Andrew would have lost his own life if it weren’t for the dapperly dressed, antler-headed, human skeleton named Doug. Who loves Andrew’s work, but escaped The Other Side to warn Andrew of a self-proclaimed god with desires to return to Brightness Falls.

Wow, that is a lot to take in. That above paragraph is jammed packed with a lot of crap. Thou the oral sex accident sounds interesting, doesn’t it? Let’s take the whole thing down a notch. Let’s try it again, please…

With the town’s annual festival, Brightfest, which commemorates the deadly day it’s population collectively walked to the bottom of the lake, only days away, and the threat of an inadvertently bloodthirsty, self-proclaimed god returning to reenact the event, Andrew is sent scrambling to save his sister, friends, lovers, and the town he’s loathed in, before the god is able to complete his predestined experiment to bringing his wife back. If Andrew can get out of his own way to unravel the towns dark secrets, as well as his own, maybe he’ll come out of it with a new TV show idea. Oh and save the town.

Well f–k, that wasn’t much better. Still, a lot going on in that paragraph, too. Here let me try…

This is the story of a man who loves women, hates his home town, and has to goes through a shit tone of shit for both of them. Oh and someone dies during oral sex, can’t leave that out.

Boom nailed it! Best book description ever – Your Mom

Review: Tethered

There is a ghost penis monster and a giant hell spider in this book, you’ve been warned!

In 1982, Moe killed a man while defending his son. The next day the man came back. In 1982, Moe went missing. The man continued to come back. In 2014, events are repeating themselves.

In a race against time, reason, and more time, Shane has to unwind mysteries of the past in order to save his friend Jason who has gone missing.

Ugh…that sounds heavy. While all the above is true, this book also has a ghost dick monster that stabs his ghost dick into a guy’s shoulder…seriously, that actually happens in this book.

Also, the main dude Shane, mentioned a couple paragraphs above, well he and his wife are having issues. They both want to bang more, but they aren’t good about talking about it, so it’s this whole thing. Anyway, they are cute together by the end, wow…is that a spoiler?

Anyway, this book has laughs, sex, monsters, mysteries, and a dick ton of other really cool stuff that I won’t spoil here. You want to be cool right? Well, then you better listen to this book, I mean all your cool friends already have. Don’t ask them, just trust me.

The first book in the Aurora Wasteland Literary Universe, which combines horror, sci-fi, and humor.

All books in the Aurora Wasteland Literary Universe are interconnected but are also stand-alone novels, and can be listened to in any order you’d like.